I have had personal experience of work related Stress and depression and as a result, studied to become qualified to help others in a similar situation. My 18 years of experience in helping people through Depression, Anxiety, Stress and Bereavement has allowed me to share my knowledge, experience and tried and tested techniques to help others.
The very first thing we will do in our session together is to ensure you understand why you are feeling the way you do,which leads to physical as well as mental exhaustion.
Then I will work quickly to help you feel better by using deep relaxation with you. This is to prepare your brain to learn, because as you’ve probably noticed, depression and stress makes it almost impossible to pay attention and retain information.
After our first session, I would expect you to feel better than you have in a long time. leaving with tools and techniques to help you.
When you suffer from depression, it feels like nothing can ever help, and nothing will ever change…
That is what depression does to your thinking. It makes you feel certain that you can never feel happy again.
It drains the pleasure from things you used to enjoy, makes you see everything through grey-tinted glasses and eradicates hope and energy.
In short, depression is a parasite that feeds off your life.
But when you know how depression works; what it needs to sustain it, then you start to gain power over it and hope starts to sprout again.
I have been trained by Uncommon Knowledge in an approach to treating depression that focuses on getting you feeling better quickly.
The very first thing we will do in our session together is to ensure you understand why you are feeling this way. It has a lot to do with the levels of stress you are currently experiencing, which leads to physical as well as mental exhaustion.
Then I will work quickly to help you feel better by using deep relaxation with you. This is to prepare your brain to learn, because as you’ve probably noticed, depression makes it almost impossible to pay attention and retain information.
When you leave my clinic after that first session, I would expect you to feel better than you have in a long time.
But of course, depression doesn’t shift overnight.
In the following sessions, we will work together to:
Depression can make you feel hopeless.
But there is hope, and I think I can help, so please give me a call on 07591308287 and I can tell you anything else you need to know.
Our bodies react to stress in a similar way that they react to fear. We experience fear when we have cause to be concerned about our well-being or safety. We experience stress when we are in situations where we feel under threat but are not actually in any immediate danger.
When we feel under threat in this way our bodies respond with the fight or flight syndrome, which prepares our bodies to fight or flee and involves a number of physical changes. Our heartbeat increases, our breathing becomes shallow, all of our senses work better, we may have a desire to defecate, our muscles tense to fight or flee, our hands and feet become colder and we begin to sweat to cool ourselves, as all of these changes make us hot.
This response can be set off by many situations that are not really dangerous or life-threatening, however, we are reacting as if our lives were actually threatened, and the reaction to such threat is a very powerful one. When there is no enemy to fight or run from, the physical feelings created have no release, Leading to stress, which will eventually find an outlet in chronic fatigue, anxiety and a variety of minor, or more serious, physical illnesses. Here at Rubik Minds, we help you to manage the effects stress has on you.
When we suffer a bereavement our thoughts, feelings and experiences can be mixed and confusing. Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by our feelings or we may be concerned that we are not feeling much at all or feel numb. We can feel stuck and feel unable to move forward and may be unable or unwilling to talk to others about how we feel.
How we respond to a bereavement is a very individual and personal thing, so one person may react completely differently to another which can also cause confusion and lead to misunderstandings.
There is no “right” way to grieve or mourn after a bereavement and there is no set pattern or time limit. Everyone’s experience is different and our reactions will depend on our past, our relationship with the person we have lost and the circumstances surrounding the bereavement.
One of the most frequently asked questions I hear from clients is, “Is this normal? … to which the answer is generally “Yes” everyone experiences different emotions, you respond how you feel. I often hear clients say things like:
“I'm so angry"“I don’t feel anything” or “I feel numb” “I can’t stop crying, I cry at the smallest thing”
“I don’t seem to be able to cry"
“If only…” – you may regret things you said or didn’t say, things you did or didn’t do.
All of which are perfectly normal reactions to a bereavement. The grief we feel can be intense and devastating or we can feel numb, or anything in between. The above is not an exhaustive list, but I hope it will offer some reassurance if you or a loved one are experiencing any of these things that there’s nothing wrong with you or them, these are normal reactions.
Bereavement can also raise unresolved issues or painful memories from earlier in our life, even from our childhood. This can be distressing as we struggle to cope with these difficult memories and feelings. We may also have to deal with practical issues and take on new responsibilities which we had not planned for as a result of a bereavement. We may be faced with making significant decisions or changes in our life which we may not feel ready for. It all takes time and energy at a time when we are already at a low ebb and can feel too much to cope with.
We can also be affected by the reactions of other people, who may not know the best thing to say or do. Death is still a taboo subject and many people may say nothing or avoid a bereaved person completely for fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, which can feel very isolating. Other people may say things with good intentions which seem dismissive or hurtful. Or they may try to help us feel better by urging us to do things we are not ready to do yet, for example dispose of possessions or move house, and inadvertently make us feel more distressed or cause us to feel shame as a result.
How can bereavement counselling or therapy help?
Many of my clients have said that they find it helpful to talk to someone who is not directly involved with the situation, who has no agenda and whose feelings you don’t have to look after. It can be a relief to be able to talk openly about what you are experiencing following a bereavement – in many cases clients tell me it is the first time that they have been able to talk to somebody. Following my own experiences of bereavement many years ago I trained with Cruse Bereavement Care, that was the start of my journey to training as a counsellor and Therapist. Over the years since then I have worked with many bereaved clients of different ages, cultures, genders and backgrounds. I will not judge or pressurise you and you don’t have to look after me or worry about my feelings. You can talk openly about your thoughts, feelings, actions and any uncomfortable, unusual or frightening sensations that you might be experiencing. My role is to listen and help you to make sense of and cope with what you’re experiencing so that you can find a way forward at a pace that’s right for you.
David has been helping people with Depression anxiety and stress for the past 18years. For the past eight years David has been a volunteer Bereavement Counsellor for Cruse Bereavement services and has been helping people with suicidal thoughts and PTSD. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society for Public Health, a professional member of the Society for Holistic Therapist and Coaches. David is currently studying to become a Clinical Hypnotherapist to add Hypnotherapy to his eclectic approach to helping his clients.